Invitations and Save the Date Etiquette

We know there are a lot of nitty gritty details that come along with planning a wedding. We wanted to give you a few pointers on how to go about your save the dates and invitations. This is a general guideline and applies to 90% of our couples there may be some items you may need to tweak.

Save the Date

Save the dates are usually sent out 10-12 months before the wedding. The purpose is to let your guestlist know that you are in engaged have a date set for your wedding. Many times you may not have all the details of you wedding decided yet but you want your friends and family to make sure they put your wedding day on their calendar.

All you need on a save the date is your and your fiancé's names and date on the card. You can choose to also include a "Formal invitations to follow". There is no need for RSVP or the like.

Invitations

Invitations will be sent out between 3-4 months before your wedding. Although invitations haven't changed much over the years, the RSVP has. Most of your guest will be able to RSVP online except for a few older guests that may not even own a smartphone or know how. In the invitation you will include:

• Formal Invitation

• RSVP Card and envelope

• Accommodations Card (for your out of town guests)

There is a bit of etiquette to learn about invitations and there is also information that you absolutely need from your guests to make your life easier with catering and seating charts.

When inviting your guests there are a few ways to word it. This depends on whether you are only inviting that guest, inviting that guest plus one, that guest and their spouse only (for a no kids wedding) or the family. You must be specific, if not you may have a guest count that is higher than you expected. Here are some examples:

• John Smith

• John Smith and Guest

• Mr. and Mrs. Smith

• The Smith Family or Mr. and Mrs. Smith, James & Sarah.

For a dress code you can simply have the card say "Black tie," "cocktail attire" or "dress casual". You can also leave it to be implied by the formality of your invitation. If your invitation has calligraphy and a seal it will be assumed that it is formal as opposed to an invitation that is fun and looks more like a post card.

What time should you put on the invitation? The ceremony start time. Now, you know your family best, are they very punctual or are they very relaxed about deadlines and appointments. Also take into account if your wedding is on a weekday and if there might be traffic heading to your ceremony. How early can guests arrive before the ceremony at the venue you have chosen? We have seen that its best to have the time 15-30 min earlier than your ceremony time that way it gives your guests a few minutes to find their seat, sign a guest book if you have it there or use the restroom.

Where should you put your wedding registry information? Well, it is considered a bit impolite to have that directly on the invitation because its as if you are expecting a gift. The best way to let your guests know about your registry is having it listed on your wedding website and put the link to your website on the invitation.

RSVP

RSVP Due dates should be about 4 weeks before your wedding. This gives you time to compile the guest list with their meal choices, assign your guests to tables, and order your seating chart and place cards. There are a few different ways you can go about your RSVP:

• Card with envelope and stamp to mail.

• Phone number to call or text for RSVP

• A link to your wedding website or RSVP website such as ZOLA, RSVPify, or Wedding Wire.

The information that should be include is the following:

• Guests attending

• Meal choices

• RSVP Due date

Accommodations Card:

• If you are providing accommodations(hotel/airbnb/ etc) for your out of town guests it is proper to provide that information on the invitation as well as information about transportation.

• If you will not be providing accommodations for your guests, it would be appropriate in this case to provide those guests with a list of hotel options and a date by when to book to prevent booking too late and not finding a room.